August 10, 2012

     Yesterday it finally hit me:  “We’re moving.”  During staff meeting Steve organized a little farewell for me, including snacks, a small gift, and words of encouragement from the rest of the team.  Following this I walked out and realized, “I have nowhere to go.”  I had already given my keys to Abby Spencer, cleared out my office, and finished all my work.  For a while I just walked around not really sure where to go or what to do.  It was such a weird feeling.

   Later in the afternoon I was also sent off by the elders at my final elder meeting.  Again, so strange.  Then finally, at home, as we continued packing up all our things, I realized we only have 3 days left in Panama.  It seems like we’ve been waiting for this for such a long time that the day would never come. 

      Since we made this decision in February we’ve been in transition mode, slowly getting rid of things, packing up, saying goodbye.  Now we’ve finally made it.  Our fridge is empty.  Our cupboards are bare.  We even had to go out and buy a roll of toilette paper yesterday just to make it through the next three days.  Of course, there are still a handful of little things to clean up: toys and books, the tube of toothpaste, a couple pairs of remaining shoes.  Still, despite the weirdness, we’re feeling pretty good.  There was a little bit of tension this morning as Jen and I were having to balance out the weight of our luggage, deciding what needed to be left behind and what could go.  Mostly I think it’s due to the anxiety of the trip and the transition ahead.  For the most part though, we’re doing remarkably well.  Our bags are pretty much packed up.  The house is mostly clean.  We even sold the car at the last minute (PTL).  And now we’re just living out of the suitcases until Monday. 

     This week has also been good as we have been able to spend extra time with friends, hanging out one last time and saying goodbye.  It’s hard to do, and each person handles it a little differently.  Some of our friends don’t want to say goodbye.  They prefer, ‘see you later.’  The words are just too hard.  Some of them are being extra gracious, providing us with gifts and prayers of farewell.  And some just seem to be ignoring us all together.  I’ve been getting a little teary-eyed during these times, but for the most part I handle goodbyes pretty well.  I just can’t stand drawing it out.  Jen is the opposite.  It’s been extra important for her to spend lots of time with her friends.  Whenever she goes out, I never know how long she’ll be.  Even stepping outside to talk with the neighbors ends taking multiple hours, most of them during which I’m stuck in the house wondering where she is.  Leaving our community will be extra hard on her, though she’s handling it well.

     The kids too are doing great.  Nathanael is a little sad to be leaving his friends.  Abby is just excited for the plane ride.  They’ve been told we have three plane rides and we’ll be spending the night on one of them.  We’ve even packed their pajamas as carry-ons.  They’re excited about this.

So here we are, two days away from flying, everything taken care, packing up last minute things and saying goodbyes. 

“Lord, please help us in these last couple days.  Give us positive interactions with our friends and church family.  Help us to handle the differing emotions gracefully.  Prepare the way for us, and give us smooth travels we pray.  Amen!”